Revising for Formal Style

               
The Rules of Formal Writing

Complex – Longer sentences are likely to be more prevalent in formal writing. You need to be as thorough as possible with your approach to each topic when you are using a formal style. Each main point needs to be introduced, elaborated and concluded.

Objective – State main points confidently and offer full support arguments. A formal writing style shows a limited range of emotions and avoids emotive punctuation such as exclamation points, ellipsis, etc., unless they are being cited from another source.

Full Words – No contractions should be used to simplify words (in other words use "It is" rather than "It's").  Abbreviations must be spelt out in full when first used, the only exceptions being when the acronym is better known than the full name (BBC, ITV or NATO for example).

Third Person – Formal writing is not a personal writing style.  The formal writer is disconnected from the topic and does not use the first person point of view (I or we) or second person (you).

•        The following pronouns CAN NOT be used in formal style:
• First Person          I, me, my, mine, we, us, our, ours

• Second Person      you, your, yours, you, (y’all), your , yours

•        The following pronouns CAN be used in formal style:
• Third Person he, him, his, she, her, hers, it, they, them, their, theirs, its

Find more at: http://www.skillsyouneed.com/write/formal-or-informal.html#ixzz434Kt1rLQ

Today, you should work with your partner to completely revise your paper to make sure it is in formal style. You and your partner should read through your paper completely and make revisions according to the requirements above. Remember, formal style will be graded thoroughly when you turn in this essay. 

Writing your essay

You need to draft your essay. Follow the requirements below to do so. Remember, you and your partner will be get credit for the introduction and conclusion, but you will be graded on your body paragraph individually.

Body Paragraph (each person in a partnership/group is responsible for writing one body paragraph)
• focuses on a single point
• each point is logical and clearly supports the thesis
• includes a clear topic sentence (introducing the point)
• includes at least three supporting detail sentences
• includes at least two outside facts or examples within the supporting details that clearly support each reason
• includes a closing sentence that summarizes and brings the paragraph to a close
• lists reasons (one per paragraph) in the same order as the introduction

Introduction

• includes an attention-grabbing hook

• a brief summary of the problem using research from your expository book

• includes a thesis that clearly states the topic and the author’s opinion of the topic

• lists two different logical reasons that support the thesis

Conclusion 

• restates the thesis

• relists reasons

• gives a clear call to action

Writing a thesis statement

You and partner should read everything in this post carefully to write your thesis statement.

A strong thesis statement is key to writing a persuasive essay. The thesis statement presents your topic to the reader, provides your opinion on that topic (for most people the opinion will be that the topic is a bad thing in the world), and lists reason to support your opinion. A good thesis statement should capture all of these essential details in just one or two sentences. The thesis statement will appear in your introduction after the brief summary of your topic (the problem), and it should be the last sentence of your introduction.

The purpose of a thesis statement is to inform readers of:
the subject of your paper.
your claim (or opinion) of the topic.

Watch this video with your partner to learn about writing a thesis statement

How to write a thesis statement:

1. Pick a topic (you should have already done this with your partner)

2. Develop an question: What can we do about (your topic) to improve the world? The answer to this question should be the solution or organization you found to help with the problem

3. Develop reasons to support your solution (you should have already done this with your partner)

4. Put these three things together into a sentence as the example video shows. 

5. Type your thesis statement in your "I am somebody essay" Google Doc

After you finish your thesis statement, check to make sure it holds up to the tips listed below:

Express an Opinion

• Make sure that your point of view is clear. 
• An easy way to test your thesis is to ask yourself whether your reader could challenge or oppose your thesis statement. 
• Your thesis should not simply states facts that someone couldn’t disagree with.
• For example: "Animal abuse is a big problem in this country, and everyone should work together to stop it." This is a statement that can be argued. While no one would think that animal abuse is a good thing, some people may argue that it's not a big problem in this country. This statement expresses an opinion

Be Specific

• The reader should know exactly what you’re going to argue and why. 
• Example: “ASPCA is a good organization that helps animals” 
• This a weak thesis because it’s not specific or focused enough. 
• Example:  "The students of HTMS should donate money to support ASPCA because of the great work they do to help abused animals across the country.”
• This is a strong thesis because it is focused and has a clear point of view. 

Pass the "How and Why" Test

• Your thesis statement should answer one or both of two key questions: “how” and “why.”
•  For example: if you think that saving animals from captivity is the most important cause to support, then your thesis should tell readers how or why it’s important. 
• If a reader can't determine the "how" or "why" from your thesis statement, your thesis might be too open-ended, and you may need to clarify your point of view.

Works Cited
Mahoney, Amy. 'How To Create A Thesis Statement For A Persuasive Essay | The Classroom | Synonym'. N. p., 2015. Web. 18 Mar. 2015.

On Monday, I will check to see if your thesis statement is complete for a grade. Also, we will conference about your thesis statement to ensure that it is a good foundation for your paper. 

If you finish all of that. Begin drafting your body paragraphs. Since you and your partner only have one chromebook, you may choose to have the planning page pulled up and both hand write your paragraphs on a piece of paper. Then, you can type them in later. Use your written essay requirements to make sure you have all of the necessary components as your write your body paragraphs.

IAS Research/Works Cited

We will continue research for the "I am somebody" (IAS) essay. You and your partner will need to work on one document together. One of you will need to get the document from Google Classroom, and "share" it through Google Drive with your partner. You will need to work complete the pre-writing and research table on the first page of the document today in class. 

As you do research, you will need to keep up with your sources in your Works Cited page. 

Since you are not limited to using AVL, you will have to develop the citation for your information on your own. To do this, go to CitationMachine.net. 

When you are on the website follow these instructions:

1. Choose MLA citation style
2. Choose "website"
3. Paste the URL (web address) from you article into the box provided
4. Click "search websites"
5. Most likely, the website will be found by Citation Machine. If the correct website is found choose "select"
6. A page will show you exactly what information they were able to collect. Click "continue to final step" at the bottom of the page.
7. Include any additional information you can find that Citation Machine could not find (for example-publication date or publisher)
8. Copy and paste the completed citation to the Works Cited page on your "I am somebody" Essay document on Google Drive
9. You will need to do this for any new source of information you found for this essay.

If you are using information from your expository book (and you should), you can just copy and paste the citation from your Final Expository Book + Works Cited document on Google Drive to your "I am somebody" Essay document. 

I Am Somebody

-Lily Tomlin

We will be starting a new project this week called the "I Am Somebody" Project. You will work to support a solution for the problem you wrote your expository book about. This project will be an exercise in considering others and their needs, rather than our own. You will need to consider what cause will support the problem in your expository book, how you can support them, and how you can convince others to do the same.  You will be working with a partner throughout this project. We will complete all requirements in class together over the next few weeks. There will be a research/writing assignment as well as a multi-media presentation. The requirements for both are below:

Written Essay 

*Each of the following requirements is worth five points* 

Introduction

• includes an attention-grabbing hook

• a brief summary of the problem using research from your expository book

• includes a thesis that clearly states the topic and the author’s opinion of the topic

• lists two different logical reasons that support the thesis

Body Paragraph (each person in a partnership/group is responsible for writing one body paragraph)

• focuses on a single point

• each point is logical and clearly supports the thesis

• includes a clear topic sentence (introducing the point)

• includes at least three supporting detail sentences

• includes at least two outside facts or examples within the supporting details that clearly support each reason

• includes a closing sentence that summarizes and brings the paragraph to a close

• lists reasons (one per paragraph) in the same order as the introduction

Conclusion 

• restates the thesis

• relists reasons

• gives a clear call to action

Works Cited 

• contains at least three credible outside sources

• correctly formatted (correctly punctuated and capitalized, double-spaced, labeled, alphabetized, and on a page by itself)

Vocabulary

• maintains a formal style (not conversational, avoids talking to the reader or about the essay, etc.)

• essay does not use the following: I, you, my, us, we, our, your, mine, yours, ours

Transitions

• uses transitions appropriately between sentences and paragraphs to clarify the relationships between ideas

Conventions (10 points)

• contains no errors in spelling, punctuation, capitalization, or word usage 

Multi-Media Presentation 

This is your chance to show your creativity and “sell” your cause!  Design a multi-media presentation (including images, graphics, music, etc.) that clarifies the information in your speech and compels your audience to take action. The requirements for your presentation are listed below: 

• Multi-media presentation includes an extensive variety (5-8 slides) of images and/or other graphics (charts, graphs, maps, etc.) that clarify the information included in your essay.

OPTIONAL: Include music/sound that appropriately enhances the effect.

• Multi-media presentation includes persuasive sentences to compel your audience to support your cause (could include facts/statistics, questions, etc.).

• Multi-media presentation includes a credits page citing web addresses for images and other graphics found online.

• Speaker pronounces words clearly.

• Speaker makes eye contact with audience throughout the presentation.

• Speaker projects voice loudly enough to be heard.

• Speaker uses pauses effectively (doesn’t rush).

• Speaker demonstrates understanding of the topic (pronounces words correctly, explains ideas accurately, is able to answer basic questions).

• Speaker appears well-rehearsed (presentation flows smoothly, speaker doesn’t stumble over words or forget parts to presentation, etc.)

• Listener pays close attention to each presentation and does nothing to distract other audience members.

Grammar Test on Socrative

We will take this test online. Make sure you read each question and all of the answer choices carefully. See the directions below:

• Click on the link below
• Enter the room number posted on the board
• Type your name: (last name, first name)
• Take the test 
• Once you finish, complete the Quick write that is written below. 

Follow this link to take your grammar test online: Socrative

Once you are finish with the test complete a quick write on the following prompt:

What does it mean to be persuasive? In the past, what have you done to persuade someone of something? Write a summary about a time you tried to be persuasive and it didn't work. 

Grammar Review

Station 1

At this station, you should consider your grammar goals for which practice quiz to take. You can take as many of the quizzes as you choose, but be sure to start with the topics that you need to practice. These quizzes were not made by Mrs. Oliveira, but they should be good resources to help you practice your skills.

Parts of Speech

Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement
Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement 2
Pronoun Antecedent Agreement 3 (this one is hard!)
Direct Objects (more than one answer choice could be selected for each question)
Action/Linking Verbs
Preposition
Identifying Subjects
Identifying Predicates

Station 2- Quizizz Review

1. Open Quizizz  in your browser

2. Enter the 5-digit game code 03402, and click "Proceed"

3. Now enter your first name and last initial (Brianna O.) and click "Join Game!"

4. You will get an avatar, and then see a "Start Game" button. Click it to begin!

Station 3- KEY

We started going over the correct answers for Station 3 in class on Thursday, and we finished discussing it on Friday. I am posting the key here for band students that will miss class on Friday due the band field trip. These students should be prepared to take the test on Monday, too. 

Grammar Review Station 3-KEY

Turn It In-Paraphrasing Grade

Today, we will upload your paper to TurnItIn.com again for a paraphrasing grade.

Uploading a paper to Turnitin.com

1. Go to Turn It In
2. Enter your log in information (Trussville City Schools email and chromebook password)
3. After you are logged in, click on our class name
4.  click the blue "Submit" button
5. Click on "Cut & Paste" and change it to "Single File Upload"
6. Add your book title to the submission title
7. Choose Google Drive
8. Click "Allow"
9. Choose the document "Expository Book + Works Cited" and click "select"
10. Click "upload"
11. Once the paper has uploaded, click confirm

You will not be able to see your originality report at this time, but it will be posted on iNow and returned with your expository book grade.